From My Past: Obsession—John Duka, The Passion of Fashion

STORY: “One of the requisite skills for sitting at a fashion show is being able to roll your eyes, talk to the person behind you, chew...

Jan 31, 20203 min read

Voluntarily Celibate: Life as an Asexual Gay Man

STORY: Ever since I could remember, there’s always been something strange about me. When my peers were swooning over the most recent pop...

Jan 25, 20203 min read

Remembering Workouts and Worries

STORY: It was once the epicenter of the gayest neighborhood in New York City. Today, any traces of the infamous Chelsea Gym are nearly...

Jan 19, 20203 min read

BAMMER and Me: Confessions of a Male Escort turned Addiction Counselor (Part 2)

PODCAST—EPISODE 12: What do you do after you’ve been a Colt porn model, male escort, and drug addict? After kicking his drug addiction,...

Jan 13, 20201 min read

Seven Revelations of Gay Spirituality

COMMUNITY: I am starting to see an amazing, life-changing movement surfacing through what is now called the “LGBTQ movement,” although...

Jan 13, 20204 min read

Busted!

STORY: In The Fall of 1996, I was twenty years old and had just moved into my own apartment in LA. I was going to school, working full...

Jan 3, 20209 min read

BAMMER and Me: The Phluid Project and Gender-free Fashion

PODCAST—EPISODE 11: Rob Smith, the founder of The Phluid Project, talks about his journey from being a successful fashion executive to...

Dec 21, 20191 min read

BAMMER and Me: Cliff Morrison, The First AIDS Ward (Part 1)

PODCAST—EPISODE 10: Cliff Morrison arrived in San Francisco as a nurse in the late 1970s, as AIDS was about to erupt. In 1983, while...

Dec 4, 20191 min read

BAMMER and Me: Confessions of a Male Escort turned Addiction Counselor (Part 1)

PODCAST—EPISODE 9: Stu Fenton has had quite the life! In his early twenties, Stu was a Colt model and a male escort. That high life led...

Nov 13, 20191 min read

The Dead, The Living, and The Inheritance

STORY: Fall is a time of sad anniversaries for me. When I tested positive for HIV in the fall of 1988, it was hardly surprising. Many sex...

Nov 11, 20196 min read

BAMMER and Me: Life in NYC Avant Garde Theatre Scene and Stonewall

PODCAST—EPISODE 8: Mike talks with Frank Carucci, a life-long New Yorker, about working in the NYC avant-garde theatre scene, the...

Oct 30, 20191 min read

BAMMER and Me: Edward Field, Gay Life in 1950s' NYC, (Part 3)

PODCAST—EPISODE 7: Ninety-five-year-old renowned poet Edward Field shares stories about gay life in NYC amid the social change of the...

Sep 29, 20191 min read

Ralfie

STORY: Our hearts resemble houses constructed by our parents. When we’re young and something breaks they repair the damage. As we get...

Sep 24, 20195 min read

BAMMER and Me: Edward Field, Gay Life after WWll (Part 2)

PODCAST—EPISODE 6: Renowned poet and author Edward Field discusses with Mike, his colorful and bohemian life after WW2, including his...

Sep 12, 20191 min read

BAMMER and Me: Edward Field, Life of a Gay Soldier in WWll (Part 1)

PODCAST—EPISODE 5: Mike Balaban interviews renowned poet and author Edward Field. At 95 years old, Edward shares his experiences as a gay...

Aug 21, 20191 min read

Angels and Demons

STORY: We five were an unusual gang—“the famous five”—as we liked to call ourselves. It was comprised of me, my best friend Mark, his...

Aug 8, 20196 min read

BAMMER and Me: Caleb Holland, Coming Out (Part 2)

PODCAST—EPISODE 4: Our first episode is about cross-generational perspectives on LGBTQ issues and themes between Mike Balaban and 25 y.o....

Aug 4, 20191 min read

BAMMER and Me: Author David Nimmons Discusses Gay Community

PODCAST—EPISODE 3: Mike interviews Dave Nimmons on gay male bonding and how gay men can find meaningful ways to connect and create...

Jul 9, 20191 min read

BAMMER and ME: Eric Sawyer and the Queer Liberation March

PODCAST—EPISODE 2: Mike talks with LGBT Activist Eric Sawyer about the Queer Liberation March on Sunday, June 30, 2019, which ran three...

Jun 27, 20191 min read

Fifty Years Ago

STORY: Fifty years ago this week the Stonewall Riots took place. I do not recall hearing about these events at the time, as my mind was...

Jun 25, 20193 min read